It’s been a strange week. Yesterday I had an ugly meeting. A meeting where I left feeling quite judged and unsure of myself. This doesn’t usually happen as I’m quite level-headed about work but yesterday really upset me. So much so that I had an emotional doughnut afterwards (not something that happens EVER). I then proceeded to vent to some of my loved ones but don’t feel much better after either. So today I had an emotional Cadbury’s creme egg. What is happening to me!
I’m sulking. I’m sulking like an emotional teenager. And I feel like I have a right to. Adulting is actually really hard. We are expected to have everything ‘together’. You leave school or university and the world expects you to get a job, know how to cook, work out life admin like bills and insurance, find a partner and look perfect on Instagram while doing all of this. And then to top things off humans have added another layer of complexity – social norms.
We are expected to navigate a galaxy of socially awkward situations, email etiquette, cold calling (whoever thought that was a good idea had clearly never had a human to human interaction in their life), client – supplier inequality, horrible bosses, catty co-workers and constant feelings of inadequacy. All of these are then further heightened when you work in a creative industry. Everyone has an opinion – today that model is a good idea, tomorrow we have moved on. Today you seem to know what you are talking about, next week not so much.
It’s hard to fit in and stand out at the same time. And this doesn’t seem to change no matter your level of experience. Reassuringly I have now managed to survive my 20’s relatively unscathed. I feel a certain level of confidence in my abilities and most of the time I talk the talk and walk the walk. So when someone comes along and dumps on my parade most of the time I just shrug it off as their problem, their insecurities or the old ‘it wasn’t meant to be’ belief.
But every now and again my world gets shattered. This is one of those days. I know it will pass, tomorrow I will wake up and eye roll the memory of that meeting. But today, just for today I’m booking out. I’m throwing up my arms and ordering an extra large unicorn macci-whatever from Starbucks. I’m not responding to emails within 10 minutes. And I’m most certainly not smiling blandly at anyone who walks past just to be polite. Because today the trials and tribulations of being a teenager sound like a dream compared to living life as an adult. I’m a casualty and so I’m booking out.
If you would like to join me check out this beautiful Teen Spirit story in the latest Teen Vogue. Someone get me some sequins and plop me in the back of a pick up truck. Life would surely be much easier…
image credit: anne of carversville