A Return to the Blog

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image The Chriselle Factor

So as usual I have fallen off the grid. The blog has been dead for quite some time. I’ve lost many things – motivation and confidence among the biggest and instead I’ve fueled a belief that this blog isn’t worth anything if it is not perfect. #LAME I know. People keep asking me if I’m still blogging or how the blog is going and I get embarrassed and roll my eyes and say that I just don’t have time or anything to write about, blah blah.

The truth of the matter is that I am 1. scared (yes I said it)  and 2. indecisive. Oh wait and there’s 3. I’m a perfectionist.  These three things rolled into one mean that I can’t conquer this fear unless something is perfect (which in my head it never is) and I feel it’s worth something (which I never do).

I have this terrible habit of putting my life down especially when comparing it to other peoples’ (damn you Instagram). So what I always end up doing when I have some free time is reading/watching other peoples blogs/vlogs and never committing to something of my own. Which defeats the purpose of creativity…I think… It also means I’m constantly restless which is never a good thing as a freelancer. You need to keep yourself busy. When you don’t have actual paying-the-bills work, being left with your thoughts for too long is detrimental to your sanity (another blog post on this later).

Oh and side note to the reasons why I haven’t been blogging?  I also think a blog is going to start making millions of £$€ within 2 seconds of me becoming a ‘blogger’ which I know rationally is never going to happen. And yet I get so despondent when I hit refresh and my page views haven’t gone up that I think what’s the point? #2xLAME

The point is that I have the time. The point is that I am going to try. The point dear readers is that life is about living rather than sitting around wishing you had a direction or knew what the right thing was to do, or say or write. There isn’t a ‘right thing to do’. The point is that we just have to try. Every day we get up and try. So that’s what I’m doing… trying…Even when I struggle to hit the post button. It must be done!

And I will probably fall off the band wagon at some point….I will get bored or despondent, but today…today I have done it. And the funny thing is that the motivation has come from spending almost all day watching vlogs by Casey Neistat. Specifically this vlog which I found mega inspiring. Now I might not be good at this (the tech skills are shocking) but I live in one of the most exciting cities in the world and I feel that I should use that to my advantage and maybe create a little diary of my time here. Not sure how or in what format or what it will come to but I think I must if nothing else, just try. More on this to come. Have a fabulous day and thanks for reading (specific shout out to Bron and Max my two biggest blogging fans, if anyone reads this I know they will).

x

6 thoughts on “A Return to the Blog

  1. Well written Maja. It is very difficult to write honestly but you have done so. People always respond to something written from the heart so I have no doubt that this blog will evoke a good response and increase your readership. Xx

    Like

  2. I was nodding in agreement from the start. Something to bear in mind when you’re on the Instagram, struggling with the life-envy, have you seen your own Instagram lately? As a whole, kinda gorgeous. Gorgeous and wonderfully inspiring (and not just cos I like to see my friend living beautifully). You’re doing more than just trying, Maj, even when it may not feel like it.

    Liked by 1 person

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